Holy smokes, the days sure do seem long, but at the same time fly by. It's nearly springtime, and I haven't posted since last fall?! Time for a bit of a catch up!
Gideon is five going on six in July. Really, where has the time gone? My "baby boy" is long gone and has turned into a soon-to-be kindergartner. And he's amazing. So many memories packed into five (almost six) short years. Sometimes I wish I could go back and re-live certain moments with him. Even as far back as the morning he was born. I remember it clear as day. That precious first cry (which then...well, never seemed to stop for months...) and holding him in my arms for the first time. Or the many walks and stroller runs we would go on together. Filling up the kiddie pool in the summertime. Going to the mall in the winter just to "get out" and stroll around or go on dinky little rides. Splashing in puddles when it would rain. The many "projects" we would do together. Obviously we can still do most of these things together, but there was something special about it being just me and him. And I still cherish those times in my heart. Certainly times weren't always rainbows and sunshine. In fact, a lot of the time it wasn't (and still isn't)! If I really, honestly think back, I also remember many tears, frustrations, exhaustion...oh yes, complete and utter exhaustion. And the many sleepless nights wondering if I'd ever get it right. Yep. I still wonder that. But I've learned, and am still learning, that at the end of the day there is GRACE. When I wake up in the morning...GRACE. I need it. He needs it. Everyday. I've learned to be honest with him. I tell him that I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness. He knows and understands that mommy is not perfect and mommy needs Jesus just as much as he does. I love his heart. So much. He can be so stubborn, but turn around and pour his tender heart out in my arms. I pray he stays tender. I pray I become more tender. Thank you, Gideon, for all that you've taught me and continue to teach me. Keep thinking, learning, asking questions, talking to Jesus...and keep on seeking truth. I have loved all of your different stages of interests...cars, trucks, dinosaurs, construction vehicles, bugs, angry birds, and now dragons! But above all, never lose that love you have for Jesus and truth. Can't wait to see what the years to come have in store.
Jocelyn is almost two! She now holds up her two pointer fingers when we ask her how old she's going to be and says, "Two!!" Oh goodness, Jossie-girl. My sweet-as-pie, lovie-love, snugly, smooshy, kissy girl. Not a day has gone by without kisses, snuggles, hugs and sweetness from her. I squeeze those utterly, precious cheeks every day. And cherish every kiss. Every morning now, she will snuggle with me in bed and I take it all in. Really, I do. Have you ever read that sad book, "Let me hold you longer," by Karen Kingsbury? I get a knot in my throat whenever I read it, which is why I haven't read it in a very long time! Here's a glimpse..."Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts: First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst. But one day you will move away and leave to me your past, and I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts...The last night when you woke up crying, needing to be walked, when last you crawled up with your blanket, wanting to be rocked..." and so on. I know I'm going to miss these moments and so I cherish them. I think it's been easier to cherish in the past month now too because my little missy moo girl is FINALLY sleeping through the night!!! This is BIG news people. It's been a long two years (well, almost 6 years if you count Gideon, hahaha) since she was NOT a good sleeper. Things I will not miss...sleep deprivation, times of depression and feeling like a zombie. It wasn't easy, but hallelujah, we've made it this far! She is such a blessing from God. I look at her sweet, sleeping face every night before I go to bed and my heart melts with love for her. It's all so worth it. I love you, Jocelyn Ruth. Terrible Twos, here we come!!!
